An estate agent parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.



More than a little distraught, the estate agent grabs his mobile and calls the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the estate agent starts screaming hysterically:



"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined, it'll simply never

be the same again!"



"You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."



"Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you." The estate agent looks down in absolute horror..........



"K'ING HELL!!!!!! he screams - "Where's my Rolex ?"

Why did the monkey put a piece of steak on his head?





He thought he was a griller.

My mate rang me and asked, "What are you doing at the moment?"



I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

What's the mating call for a moderator? "I think I'm drunk!"

It may be AUP PROOF but its not "me proof"





So play within the rules.

i asked a cas fan to see if my indicator working. he replied, "It is, it isn't, it is, it isn't, it is,..."

i asked a fev fan to see if my indicator working. he replied, "It is, it isn't, it is, it isn't, it is,..." and then as he ran off i realized my car was on bricks

A guy walks into a restaurant in Hull asking "Do you serve fish?"



The waiter replies "no"



the guy replies "well that's means my date has arrived"

Cheryl Cole has just released her new calendar.

That’s great, now all she needs is some work to put in it

Richard Agar asked to take a training session before he accepted his new job. He had all the first team Wakey players on the pitch and to start with asked them all to set up in their usual positions, they all walked off and stood behind the posts waiting for someone to take the converson. ( except for Luke George who ran to the treatment room as he thought it might be a contact session )

Driving past the Jungle and i saw a Cas 2012 season ticket nailed to a tree. I stopped the car and thought im having that.........



You can never have too many nails!

went to sunbed wholesalers the other week in manchester, a bloke at the tube counter in front of me says i need a 90watt tube for my tantaliser 900. me and the bloke behind the counter burst out laughing.



everyone knows you need a 95 watt tube for the tantaliser 900. what a burk!!!



bring on next week when my bronzeadonis 3000 arrives.