BBC NEWS- Daughter and grandson born on same day The Castleford man was delighted at the birth of his twins.

The ultimate chatup line.



Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Now get in the van.

I was at the doctors the other day having a prostate examination, when he said, "Oh my God!"



"What is it Doctor?" I asked, mildly ting myself.



"You've mildly shat yourself," he replied.

Ikea.



Swedish for 'Missing Bolt'.

Pinocchio goes to the Hull KR board and asks, "Do you know how to make me a real boy? No they reply, "but we do know how to Sandercock"

Had to go to the doctors this morning suffering from an irrational fear of Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...

Arrived home to find a pretty woman grouting the bathroom wall and singing 'It's a heartache, nothin' but a fools game.' I thought to myself, she's a bonny tiler.

Referees both sides of the globe.



Drop with the elbow (report), drop with knees (naughty watch your discipline).

Kermit keeps leaving pictures of Miss Piggy naked and in saucy poses.



Bloody frog's porn!

I asked a Cas fan if he had seen Rita, Sue and Bob too. He replied " I ain't seen the first one yet"

George Clooney is playing Kevin Webster in his new film.





Its called Oh she's eleven!

Just seen Kevin Webster in the garage working on a 14 year old escort

Calories (noun) - Tiny creatures that live in your wardrobe and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Q: What's the difference between a hedgehog and that audi that keeps on undertaking me on denby dale road ?

A: The hedgehog has pricks on the outside.